"Should I marry a boy?"

Two posts in one day, I know, weird, but I had to share this with you all.
Another mommy blogger shared this and because it is a conversation I've had with my own girls, and a dilema I myself have faced, I wanted to pass it on.

Here is the link http://www.blogher.com/two-mommies-two-daddies#comment-53466

and below I've copy pasted the article.

by Rita Arens
Last week in the car, my four-year-old daughter asked me who she thought she should marry. I told her she needn't worry about that until AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. Then she asked if she should marry a boy.
And ... it gave me pause

Whether or not to marry, we've discussed. I've told her a thousand times she needn't marry in order to be happy, but if she finds someone she'd like to marry, and if she still wants to marry that person after a sane period of time (say, at least a year), and if she's not still living in our house, then sure! Give it a go. But if she doesn't find that person, then she shouldn't worry about it, because it's far better to wait to get married then to go marrying just any old fool who crosses the road to say hello.
Whether or not to marry a boy -- that we haven't discussed. We haven't really touched on sexuality yet, other than me telling her that even though it tickles to touch yourself in certain places, you really should do that in private. Because seriously, child, no one wants to watch. Have your own fun on your own time.
So I took a deep breath and told her that she probably would marry a boy if she got married, but not everyone does. Sometimes boys marry boys and girls marry girls. And I thought about how my generation might be the first to give that answer to such a question. I could be wrong. I've been wrong before.
Because even though civil unions are legal in some states and same-sex marriage is legal in California, it's not mainstream ... yet. I do expect this to change within my lifetime, as soon as we all stop expecting everyone to act exactly the same.
I loathe discussing same-sex marriage with my daughter, though, because I fear it will require explaining why not everyone's a fan of the idea. And why, in fact, some people try to vote in laws defining marriage as a legal act between a man and a woman. I assume most of the people who feel that way are already married to the opposite sex, so who cares? This very heterosexual woman feels you can't legislate love, baby.
Do I understand how one person falls in love with another? No. Can I explain that to my daughter? No. Will I try to influence her one way or the other in terms of which gender to love? No. Will it rock my entire family on both sides if she someday falls in love with a girl? Yes. If it happens, we'll cross that bridge when it comes. But for now, I don't want her looking at any family with fear or concern. A family is a family is a family. As Polly of Lesbian Dad put it at BlogHer, "Lesbians warm baby wipes, too." And as she also writes, so eloquently:
Because when people spit on me for being a lesbian, that spit hits my kids. And my kids will watch people spit on me, and they will look at those people, and remember what their faces looked like when they were spitting. My daughter will grow to be a woman one day; my son, not yet born, will grow to be a man. Chances are they will be heterosexual, and I suspect they will not for a moment tolerate a world in which that kind of hatred is tolerable, not for one post, not for one day.
Think people don't spit? Think again. This librarian wrote a beautiful civil liberties response to a patron who protested the book Uncle Bobby's Wedding (about a same-sex marriage) as being inappropriate for children. He writes, in response to a library patron stating marriage was defined by the founding fathers:
Here's what I learned: our whole system of government was based on the idea that the purpose of the state was to preserve individual liberties, not to dictate them. The founders uniformly despised many practices in England that compromised matters of individual conscience by restricting freedom of speech. Freedom of speech – the right to talk, write, publish, discuss – was so important to the founders that it was the first amendment to the Constitution – and without it, the Constitution never would have been ratified.
Kind of gives you chills,doesn't it? Remembering what America used to be about? Independent thinking, not determined by government? The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? My father taught me that my right to swing my arm ended when I hit another person's face. I will teach my daughter the same lesson. I don't see how same-sex marriage or parenting hits anyone else in the face. Particularly my daughter. This topic will not be off the table in my home, though I personally prefer to let her observe the world and come to me and my husband with questions than to shove any value system down her throat other than the real lesson of most major religions: Love one another.
Romance is romance. Love is love. And if my daughter could find this kind of love every day, I wouldn't question from whom it came.
As for “crazy” rituals…we don’t have any. Just one small daily moment of the promise of our love. It takes place the moment before we’re really ready to go to sleep. I turn to her and ask, “Will you be here in the morning?” And she replies, “yes,” to which I ask, “promise?” And she says, “I promise.”
Wow.