Whew

Well, it was certainly another busy week.

Friday morning, Jaala's teacher called me, Jaala was so itchy she couldn't sit still and concentrate. I went to pick her up and she had broken out with eczema on her back, chest and butt. So I brought her home and tossed her in the tub with some of our wonderful Lana's homemade soap, slathered her with cream and medication. Eventually the itchies went away.

It's hard to learn and focus when ya just want to scratch!

Once her itchies were gone, Jaala was quite happy to play playdough, and computer games while I did house work. It was nice to have her to myself, so even though she was feeling better, I didn't take her back to school.

Incidently, through that, I found a way to get pictures of Jaala!!!! The antihistamine I gave her made her dopey, too dopey to object to being photographed.

*note to self* Dope Jaala with drugs prior to photo shoots..teehee!

I received my marked research paper back from my instructor. I only earned 84% and I'm absolutely kicking myself. I intended to have in completed in time for Faron to be my editor, however, when I finished it, I opted not to go over it with him and proof read it, because I was SO SICK of it.

So you see, cutting corners never pays. The majority of the marks I lost were in exactly that, proof reading and editing. (not for content, for clarity and cohesiveness). Grrr. Learned the lesson, won't do it again.

Inspite of my instructor not being able to give me an A for the paper, she did compliment my style and knowledge and vocabulary and the amount of research I did. So at least due dilligence in that regard was as it should be.

My new favorite song right now, is by Breaking Benjamin. (love love love them)

It's called Until the End

It SPEAKS to me. I wish I could upload mp3's to blogger so you could hear how great it is. Instead, I will post the lyrics.

This whole thing with shit head, ya know, it occupies a lot of my brain space. When I'm falling a sleep, crap from him sneaks into my thoughts and I have to shove them out, or I'll be too worked up inside to sleep. He creeps in because I let him. I'm so done with it. I have been for a few years now, and yet Kyle won't let go and let it be. The song just reminds me that giving up isn't an option, I'll go on, life is hard enough without HIM fucking up, but I'm still not quitting on this.

I fought for 2 years to be free to call the girls while they're with their father, I fought for 2 years to have access to address and location information when the girls are away. I fought for 3 years now to get regular child support payments. I have fought for 3 years to be recognized as a fit mother whose children belong to her. There is more to fight for and I will go on until the end, for the sake of my precious girls.

"Until The End"

So clever,

Whatever,

I'm done with these endeavors.

Alone I walk the winding way.

(Here I stay)

It's over,

No longer,

I feel it growing stronger.

I'll live to die another day,

Until I fade away.

Why give up, why give in?

It's not enough, it never is.

So I will go on until the end.

We've become desolate.

It's not enough, it never is.

But I will go on until the end.

Surround me,

It's easy

To fall apart completely.

I feel you creeping up again.

(In my head)

It's over,

No longer,

I feel it growing colder.

I knew this day would come to end,

So let this life begin.

I've lost my way.

I've lost my way,

but I will go on until the end.

Living is hard enough

Without you fucking up

the final fight I will win,

The final fight I will win,

The final fight I will win,

and I will go on until the end.