Rock on

It's a cold and snowy day out. I shoveled a sidewalk this morning, for the first time in more than 3 years. It was actually fun! I don't mind it.

I'm feeling a sense of panic. I start working in January, and I'm trying to negotiate a later start time at the school. The reason is, I drop the girls off at 8:30 but I also have to be at my school for 8:30. I rarely get out of the school before 8:45 because Lei needs me to walk her to her classroom door.
She's made great strides, in that she no longer cries when I leave her class. Initially, I needed to walk her to her desk, get her settled in, hug, kiss and hang around till she was comfy, then leave. Now I can leave her at her locker. But I only have a few weeks to get her used to being dropped off at the parking lot, so I can be to work on time.
We tried this morning, I've been talking about it with her for weeks now, and today was the day we were going to try dropping her off at the doors of the school when the bell rang. All was well till we got to the door, then Lei stopped, turned and said "I can't do it mama" with big tears in her eyes. I asked if she had any courage bubbling up in her belly that she could use to get through this......nope, not enough. Tears trickled and I couldn't leave her there. So I walked her to her locker.
So many things we ask her to be so brave for. One more thing my Leilei, everything is about shakey bridges for her to cross over and it's tough. I feel so sad for her.
I don't wonder why though. Her separation anxiety is clearly stemming from a) her father snatching her from my arms, kicking and screaming, to leave for 10 days and 2) the separation and everything that goes with it.
She started out as a very high need for attatchment, baby.

The girls had therapy yesterday. I love Tara, she is so very good to them, and so very good with them, and with me. I am absolutely in debt to her for all she has done to help us be a family through all this crap.

I talked to my lawyer yesterday, the affadavits, and notices of motions are nearly done, and I have to go sign them next wednesday.
We're going to court to have the judge adopt the recomendations in the assesment, have finances finalized and revisit child support, as well as ask for an enforcement clause in the order because of Kyle's tendancy to do whatever the crap he wants, regardless of anything, anyone but himself.

Off to do housework.
Have a day everyone.