Crazy Bitch Gazette

I've been sitting here in the dark, enjoying a coffee and some time alone before the rush of Christmas morning, gifts and excitements start.

I've had many rambling and incomplete thoughts as Christmas has approached, I've just not taken the time to really focus on the thoughts and work out what was really going on in my head....so this is my attempt to do that.

People talk about the "commercialism" of christmas, "the christmas spirit" and other idea's surrounding what is expected to occur or what feelings christmas is expected to invoke, and yet I see so many people struggling to meet that expectation.

I think having a time during the year, such as christmas, or thanksgiving etc. to stop and reflect on the amazing parts of our lives, and to alter our usual life patterns for a few days or a few moments, in order to do good things for others, is an important practice.

What to do about the sense that this is all put on, all forced, that the "christmas spirit" is lacking that there is so much stress in trying to find the dollars to buy gifts or host dinners or travel far to celebrate with family who you try NOT to see very often.Why do we point to this particular date on the calender and force ourselves to jump through these hoops on THIS day?

*shrug* I don't have an answer outside of "it's what is done". Makes me want to toss out all of Christmas and pretend it doesn't occur! But I know that instead of forcing "christmas spirit", as defined by culture, I could instead FIND a spirit for the holiday, which is meaningful, regardless of what culture and religion dictate.

I struggled this year to throw together some sembalence of christmas time.

my girls are exposed to the expectation of certain practices being met, and I already ask them to bear my counter culture ideals in many ways and how much "difference" can I expect the small ones to take on?

I'm an atheist. I make no connections to religion in celebrating the holiday and yet I felt that I needed to give the girls a concrete and sustainable practice/focus to relate to as tradtion for our family.In the end, I chose a simple message to repeat through our holiday preparations this year "it's about hearts and hands reaching out in compassion".

We crafted gifts for the people we were celebrating christmas with. Which was both hearts and hands in one project! I was really happy with that. Teaching them that showing love doesn't mean reaching for the pocket book, but that creating something meaningful for someone we love, shows them that we cared about them, took the time to use our hands for them and thought about them with love.

How does a parent carry that message through all the encounters and all the situations the kids will be in this year? *shrug again* Being that they'll go with their father, who has the christian practice of buying, wrapping, ripping and tearing, they'll be getting a different message. At some point, they'll understand that everyone does things differently, but right now they just want to know whose way is the RIGHT way.

No one way is the right way to celebrate christmas. People do what they do.
I'm still trying to solidly formulate what message I want my kids to pick up with how I celebrate christmas, but the big thing for us today is to love each other with extra care going in to making sure they SEE us loving them and FEEL us loving them and recognizing that what we're doing is loving.

Something that can be translated into daily function eventually, but one day a year to start is a pretty good idea.

Merry Christmas.