Martha? or Maxine...which are you?

Martha: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Maxine: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Maxine: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Maxine: Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

Martha: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

Maxine: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Martha: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Maxine: Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Maxine: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.

Martha: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Maxine: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!Allyour pains go away!

Martha: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Maxine: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Maxine: Leftover wine???????????HELLO!!!!!!!

Now have a good day or your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.