T - 3h

The count down is on, 3 hours till the home assesment begins.

Initially, I was terrified. No one can look good under a microscope, we all have blemishes that when completely magnified, look heinous.

When I was more informed about the process, I was furious. Furious that Kyle, with his lies and manipulations, could impose this on me. (it has been every bit as busy, stressful, expensive and imposing as I thought it would be.)

After meeting Dr. Clarke, and speaking with him, I felt hopeful that he would really see me for what and who I am and the intentions I have.

Now, I'm just so very discouraged. This assesment isn't going to change anything. Dr. Clarke can do nothing to intervene, the only thing he's allowed to do is make recomendations. I know what he'll say. Kyle and I need to communicate more.
DUH! I've been saying that for 3 years. I KNOW that, I have tried that. 2 attempts at mediation that Kyle walked away from. Attempts at written communication, an order from the judge for a weekly parental phone call, which Kyle has completely shirked, I call, he hangs up, doesn't answer or gets his dumb blonde to get on and insult me.....then calls the police because apparently, following the judges orders and making one phone call to Kyle per week, equals harassment, till finally my lawyer said to just give up.
Kyle is the one who refuses any kind of cooperation. In his latest court affidavit, he insisted that he cannot work with me as a parent. In actuallity, he WON'T work with me.

No one needs to tell him to talk to me, that's been done over and over, by the lawyers and the judge...some one needs to MAKE him do what is responsible, reasonable and cooperative. Who is going to do that?

How will I face another 12 years of this crap from him?

He won't communcate with me, so I have no idea what is going on for visitation etc. Sometimes he comes, sometimes he doesn't, I never know ahead of time.
I have no idea what is going on for summer holidays, but it's halfway through the summer already!

The girls holiday plans have already been thwarted twice, because of Kyle's lack of communication.....not only with me, but with Dr. Clarke, and the booking of those appointments. I was forced to change the girls holidays to make up for the fact that Kyle left schedualling this to the last minute, and then ran out of time before his wedding and his honeymoon.

Now, after not visiting the girls during his wednesday visit...ALL SUMMER, he insists that he wants to follow regular schedual now (yeah, now that his plans have come to fruition), and therefore the girls cannot be at Grandma's house for their holiday because they are to be available in Red Deer for him to visit them on wednesday.

HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT????????

3 days before hand, he tells the girls that, not me, the girls.

The family reunion he's insisting the girls not attend because it's HIS weekend.

Honestly, after 3 years of this, I just want it over and I can't bear the thought that I will be battling him over stupid shit that adds stress and chaos to the girls and I, for the next 12 years.

Oh yeah....his wedding was held on MY weekend according to the schedual he now wants to follow....so much for playing straight, he just wants to be in control, he wants his way, he wants me to kow tow to him and he will play whatever game and switch the rules to suit him.