Crazy Bitch Gazette

My friend Sue sent me this little gem. Sorry, I don't feel like editing the doinks out.


This made me laugh out loud!-s.>>>>


A Cat and Your Chapstick>>>>>>>>

We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently>>>> died.>>>>>>>> Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and>>>> sit on>>>> him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap>>>> all day>>>> long>>>> on this mat in our bathroom.>>>>>>>> Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4> years>>>> old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli> really>>>> loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick> and>>>> then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the> bathroom>>>> I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to> but>>>> he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.>>>>>>>> Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush>>>> around and>>>>>>>> try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on.> My>>>> two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying> to>>>> nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up.>>>> Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is> a>>>> wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.>>>>>>>> We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car> and I>>>> am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally> round>>>> the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was>>>> applying>>>> my>>>> chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked> right>>>> into my eyes>>>> and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is>>>> right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly,> Jack>>>> didn't seem to mind.>>>>>>>> And the only question to really ask at that point was whether>>>> it was>>>>>>>> the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the> hundredth.>>>>>>>> And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it>>>> reminds>>>> us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious> little>>>> creatures,>>>> there will always be that day when you realize they've been using> your>>>> chapstick on the cat's butt.