stupid stupid stupid.

Leishabeth sat on my knee tonight after she spoke with her father on the phone. She was very emotional. She said "when we tell daddy on the phone that we don't feel like talking to him, when he picks us up in the car he makes us talk about it with him." I asked her if she meant he makes them talk about not talking to him or makes them talk about what they didn't feel like talking about?She answered "I don't know but he says if you had two kids that you hardly got to see and they didn't want to talk on the phone to you wouldn't you be sad like I am sad?".OH MY GOD! He's such a fucking bully. He has court ordered phone calls every single night and he doesn't even call consistently, then when he does call, if the girls are distracted, or tired (as he insists on calling right at bed time) or not in the mood to chat, they will politely say that they don't really feel like talking. Initially, he would make them give the phone to me and holler at me for not making them talk to him. Then, he went on to bullying them verbally to talking to him, and ignoring their protests, so I started keeping the phone on speaker, so I could monitor how he was treating them (he sees nothing wrong with this behavior).So he stopped insisting over the phone and I thought it was a battle won in the girls favor........Until now when I hear that he tries to elicit a sense of guilt from them, in order to coerce them into doing what he wants them to do.It's one thing as a parent to expect your children to do as you say on principle, but it's completely wrong when a parent removes the childs personal freedom of choice, and disrepects their self made boundaries in favor of the parent's wants. How does this teach the girls to trust in their own ability to make good and honest and moral choices based partly on their own well being and partly on a global conscience? How does it teach them to stick to their boundaries no matter who is bullying them? If they are afraid to get in trouble with their father for expressing their feelings, what does that communicate to them about the safety of their hearts with him? And how will that detriment their future?That's why I'm angry.If it were one isolated incident, it might not be such a source of tragedy, but I have over heard him berating and giving the girls trouble for expressing other feelings as well. He paid for an elaborate ski trip to Lake Louise for them and it was a crazy busy time for them. As a result, they felt that they didn't get enough "daddy time" and expressed to them that they liked skiing but they didn't like not having daddy time. His response was to call them rude and ungrateful for all he'd done for them. They are 7 and nearly 6.....Instead of hearing them say that they love him and want more time with him, he heard them say that they didn't like the trip they took and that they weren't thankful for the money he spent on them.First, they have no concept of $$ amounts, second, they clearly said they liked skiing, third, they are innocent little girls who speak in full honesty, not yet having learned how to be glib or insincere or to use double speak.I'm so sad for them and there is nothing I can do. No court can order him to be a good parent, and I cannot converse with him in order to make him understand that he is not connected to them.I feel helpless.

I think Kyle really has no clue. Leisha is 5. Right now she is making playdough sandwiches. I guess that reminded her of something because she just told me this story about how she sometimes makes lunch for the others all by her self. How idiotic is that? She is fully capable of helping with house hold tasks, but to be soley responsible for making and presenting food to the family is completely inappropriate. She didn't complain about it, the only thing she expressed in a negative light was the fact that her father ate sandwiches she made for Jaala.