One of the symptoms? I'm experiancing right now is an increase in frustration and irritation.
I'm laughing because while that last is honest, it isn't descriptive of the actual situation.
My mood stability is being influenced by the affect of the tumor on my thyroid.
In layman's terms, I'm a crazy, nasty, bitch.
I feel left out of the circle of control of my own brain. That is a messed up feeling.
The effect of that feeling, on my fragile mood stability leaves me a bawling, angry mess on many days.
Angry at myself for not having enough willpower to overcome the symptom.
Yesterday, movement was my major malfunction. I couldn't stand the movement around me I felt threatened and out of control and wanted complete stillness.....I have an almost 10 year old who has a right brain learning disorder and an 8.5 year old imp....stillness is not a reasonable request.
Faron has lovingly stepped in to manage a lot of the moment to moment interactions with the girls, leaving me less likely to snap at them.
I sent them to my Mom's place for a few days. I'm causing them to miss school on Monday, I think it will be easier for me and easier for them, to be out of harms way instead of being turned into piles of emotional rubble.
It's a pain in the neck
Don't be too hard on yourself... I have days like that and no tumor to blame it on! You are still a good Mom!
ReplyDeletek from one that was on prednisone for a very long time, I totally understand the "snap" without being able to control it.
ReplyDeleteTry to cut yourself some slack think about how you would advise a friend if they told you the same thing..., be a friend to yourself